A Note to Egypt

Dear Egypt,

I really don't know what to say to you right now. Everything's a mess, I know. The courts have declared invalid the parliament that was voted into power by millions of your people. This makes us worry about the true power of the military that has taken over. The two candidates vying for presidency are both a little shady. The economy isn't doing well and the citizens are restless, that they take to the streets to express their anger and frustration on a daily basis.

Wait, are you really Egypt or the Philippines? You both sound like you're going through the same crap. Except the Philippines also has to deal with ridiculously powerful storms every now and then. But I digress.

Back to your issues. I've only been here for 2 weeks and I must say, you are beautiful. So beautiful in fact, I'd like to ask you out on a date when you're free and not so worried about the sh*t you're in. Now let's just talk. I love your pyramids. Seriously, who built them and why?You can tell me. The slaves of pharos you say? Really? It's not aliens with more advanced technologies and science? C'mon!!! And how about those Mosques! Wow. There's one in every corner!! And they're all very pretty, those towers!

And your people aren't sobad  either. They've been real nice to me. Most of them think I'm Japanese though. But that's okay. I know you don't get a lot of Asians here. But really, what I'm trying to say is, don't lose hope yet. I know you're exhausted and ready to pack up and leave. But stay strong!!! According to the Bible, you survived so much more! Remember that famine?

You'll be fine! If after the elections, and everything's not fine, then let me know, I'm free for coffee. Or tea which everyone 'round here seems to be crazy about. There's one every 2 feet. I can't blame them, your tea and coffee are so much better than that Starbucks.  Also, maybe we can smoke some shisha. Those apple ones will surely let us forget about your problems that seem to be as heavy as the pyramids. For a while at least. So.  Call me, maybe?

Nikko